Classic Story- A rural church in the middle of farming country, had a special service to pray for rain. The drought had hit the area hard and the farmers and community were suffering financially and spiritually. Many people came to the service to pray and as the pastor looked out over the crowd he was encouraged. However, the thing that inspired him most was a little girl sitting in the front pew, holding a bright red umbrella. Everyone had come to pray for rain, but only the little girl believed enough to bring an umbrella.

- You don't attract what you want, or even what you deserve. You attract what you expect.  
-

According to the dictionary, to Expectation is a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. We believe with confidence, or we think that it is likely, that an event will happen in the future.

–To wait for or look forward to, something that is believed to be going to happen or arrive.
–To demand or anticipate receiving something because of a perceived right to it or because it is due or appropriate.

What if you had that much confidence about the direction of your life? Imagine waking up every morning with the assurance, conviction, and EXPECTATION that you will be where you want to be…that you wouldn’t even dream of questioning any different outcome than a successful one. As you are able to find that confidence within yourself to expect greatness, then others will begin to expect the same of you and they will, in turn, be attracted to your character. This is the law of attraction. It is the first step in your journey to success.

Once you have an attractive character, then you are naturally able to REFLECT others the person that you desire to be and you are that much closer to BECOMING someone not only you can respect, but others can too.  The easiest way to accomplish this is to find a mentor you admire who has already achieved the successes you seek, and copy what they have done. Success leaves clues, and if you have the right mentor, you will be shown the methods and tools they used to achieve their dreams and goals.

You are only getting the results in your life in accordance to what you consider yourself worthy to be.

Yes, that is right. You are only receiving things in life in accordance to how highly you value yourself. You see we go through life wanting more yet attracting less. Why is that?

Simple, we only ever attract what we THINK we deserve. Yet the funny thing is our attraction ability is all hidden in the unconscious areas of the mind. We don’t even know what we really think we are worth. But in actuality, we do if we simply have to look at what we currently have in our lives and know that it is a direct reflection of what we consider to be- ‘Enough’

We may walk around with our conscious mind focused on our wants and desires, yet it is our unconscious mind that is hooked into the attraction power of the universe and attracts things that are in alignment with our unconscious thoughts.


One of the biggest challenges is that we may seek a better something… but if we unconsciously don’t believe that we deserve the new and better something, we will NEVER attract it into our lives. Once we consider ourselves Worthy to receive something, it is then and only then that it appears and shows up in our lives.

So the question is, do you really consider yourself worthy of having that Ferrari or that million dollars?

You see unless you consider yourself worthy of even having it, you will never even take the first step of even asking for it. Asking for it to the universe or even asking other people for what you want.

If there is something that is not in your life right now, it isn’t there for only one reason. You don’t see it as important enough and yourself as deserving enough to have it.

Let’s examine the sentence- You Attract what you Thought you deserve!

Attract means bring forth to you based on your unconscious beliefs.

What You- The item or desired outcome.

Think- Think is the constraint around your perspective towards the issue. You have the ability to shape your thinking and see it as you want it. ‘Think’, because it is totally based on your beliefs about who you are.

You Deserve- What you consider yourself worthy to have.

If you look at any successful and content individual in the world, when they go for something and achieve a new level of success it is based on one core idea- They believe it is worth it and they are worthy of having the outcome.

Those who choose not to go for their dreams believe that they themselves are not worthy of obtaining them and they are only worthy of what they currently have.

On a scale on 1-10 how would you rate your results in the following areas-
Personal Relationships-
Career-
Money and Finances-
Family-
Health-

If you rated yourself anything less than a ten then first of all congratulations for your honesty. Second, of all you now have an indication of how much you believe that you are worth in your own mind.

This is a harsh eye-opening exercise. However, it is the truth.
If you haven’t attracted in the fulfillment that you truly desire in each of these areas it only means one thing- you don’t consider yourself worthy of having more.

Money and Finances- You don’t consider yourself worthy yet to have more riches in your life.

Relationships- If you are not satisfied with your current partner than you don’t see yourself as
deserving a better one. If you don’t have one, then unconsciously you don’t see yourself as worthy enough to have one yet. Or you are choosing consciously not to have one.

Health-If you are sick then you don’t see yourself as deserving to be well.

Career- If you are in a job that you are not absolutely passionate about and paid well for, you don’t currently see yourself as being worthy of a better one.

Family-If you don’t have the family relationships that you truly desire, then you don’t see yourself worthy enough to have them and to not tolerate what you will not tolerate.

Once we do see ourselves as worthy, it is then and only then that we take the action required for the new outcome to occur.

This process can be so empowering as we realize how our perceptions or worth can be shaping our situations and it immediately places us back in control.

When we feel deserving we unconsciously take the action that creates or attracts the outcome that we are looking for. Until we can see and feel and believe ourselves to be worthy enough we will never consciously go after what we want as it would conflict with our current identity.

We know that if we want the Ferrari or Million dollars, our only job is to make ourselves worthy in our own mind and internally deserving off that outcome. As we do so we will unconsciously find the evidence to back up why we ‘should’ have that item and the universe will provide us with opportunities to demonstrate or even ask for that item and thus we will attract it to us.

All personal development in the material world, particularly seminars and workshops have one underlying goal and intention- To Raise Your Worth, in YOUR Mind! Why? Because as every single person in personal development leadership positions know, unconsciously or consciously, when an individual believes they deserve more, they will inadvertently attract it and come to expect it. This is not through an attitude of arrogance but an attitude of abundance and expectation that it is normal to have the next level of deservedness.

We may attract to our events that seem below us or inconvenient to us, yet if we are to attract better people and circumstances then we must outgrow them mentally and see ourselves deserving better.

So how do we really grow our self-worth if we are ever to outgrow our discontentment or unfulfillment in life?

Before I share with you the steps to do this, let me ask you a question- if you were a parent would you aim to give your children absolutely everything you could if your resources were unlimited? Would you do whatever you could to provide for them if money was no object?

Let me assume the answer is Yes! Let me ask you the next question- Why?
Why would you believe that they deserve everything that you can give them?

Is it possible that they are deserving solely because they are your children and they are people? I have a feeling that this is how God or the Universe feels about things also. The universe around us wants us to have an attitude of ‘great expectations’ of blessings that are rightfully ours! The catch is, the universe will only dish out what you expect to receive and believe that you deserve to receive.


So knowing this let’s get moving on attracting what you truly deserve everything and anything that you desire! Here are the 7 steps to make this happen.

1. Take an Assessment of Yourself- Do a quick self-life analysis on where you are now and get sensitive about the areas that are not living up to your satisfaction and true potential. Notice an feel any gaps that are there and get ready to do something about them!

2. Know What you Stand For and Truly Desire-In order to raise our standards and worthiness we must first know what that would look like, how one would act and what one would be experiencing. Get clear on this and now you know what you are working towards.

3. Learn to Say NO!- A lot of people have trouble with this and rightfully so. We know how uncomfortable it is to hear ‘no!’ from others and the last thing that we want to do ourselves is reject another person with the word ‘NO!’. Yet a ‘No’ doesn’t have to be a drastic rude refusal. The best combination you can ever put together is – “No, thank you.” And then the magic word of “because…” When we are straight, yet respectful with people they will be respectful back to us. We must learn to say No in order to elevate our level of deservedness and lower our tolerance. By doing so, we are stating to the universe that our value is well above what we are currently experiencing and as such saying No to the continuation of what we are experiencing.

4. Learn to Ask for a little more Each Day- I am sure that you all remember Oliver Twist in the kitchen when he says- “Please Sir, Can I have some More?” Well, good old Oliver believed he deserved something extra. Although he didn’t end up getting what he wanted, he did take the first step and ask. Just like him we too can practice the art of asking for a little bit more. You will not receive more unless you ask. So when you are asking for something in life, pop an extra zero on the end, upgrade that model that you are looking for, ask for that extra bonus, ask for that upgrade on the plane. It will never hurt to ask and by simply asking we are allowing the universe to provide for us through a new channel.

5. Practice Receiving Guilt Free- Similar to number four, start asking for more, but more importantly, start to feel elated about receiving. If someone gives you a compliment, you find some money on the ground or someone does something nice for you, instead of feeling guilty think instead- “Thank you so much, I received that because I deserved it!”

6. Know your Current Power Points- A warrior knows he is strong because he knows he has an arsenal of weapons and abilities. So do you. You also have an arsenal of amazing qualities, skills, and strengths, yet most do not look into their weapons bag and see everything they have. The best way to build your worthiness is to take a look at the amazing skills and abilities you already have and check yourself for the power that is at your fingertips that is unique to you. Once you know this you can expand on it and be proud of each skill and ability that makes up the entirety of you. Keep learning and polishing your skills and your worthiness must go up.

7. Outperform yourself- From step number 6 you know your abilities, talents, and skills so going forward now each day seek to perform just a little bit better. A little bit longer, a little bit harder, faster, whatever the adjective might be. As you do start to outperform yourself and continue to ask yourself- How can I outperform my previous attempts? Your successes will build and so will your expectations of what is possible.

Yourself- worth is the key driver of the potential for your success. Seek not to work on your success, but work on how you view yourself. Outperform your highest expectations and you're worth will grow beyond your limitations.

As your worth grows so does the level of success that you will attract.
Connect with the true potential and pure essence of you and all your worthiness and all the success in the world is yours now.

Dr Joe Dispenza- TED Talks with Dr Joe Dispenza

Words of Wisdom: Networking & Opinion Leaders

Posted on June 17th, 2015

by Sarah S. Fallaw, Ph.D.

President, Data Points

While going through some training materials in my father's archives this morning, I found a section that defined networkingvia an example geared towards attorneys. Regardless of your industry, it is a great summary for effective business development and was the focus of the book Networking with the Affluent, published this month back in 1993. 

From his workbook:

What is Networking?

Networking is the essence of high-performance marketing. Networking is influencing the people who influence the patronage behavior of dozens, hundreds, even thousands of important prospects.

Ordinary professionals target ordinary prospects. In sharp contrast, extraordinary networkers target prospects who are opinion leaders of major affinity groups. Imagine the impact on the revenue of an ordinary lawyer if he or she is endorsed by the president of a trade association whose members include hundreds of potential clients. It happens.

How does an endorsement of this kind come about? The transformation of an ordinary legal professional into an extraordinary networker begins with targeting. The very best networkers identify and then prospect the advisors and role models of groups of clients.

These opinion leaders have a significant influence on the choice of suppliers, especially lawyers. Hiring providers like attorneys is typically associated with moderate to high risk. Hence, most buyers attempt to reduce this risk by choosing suppliers that opinion leaders endorse.

- Thomas J. Stanley

The Wisdom of Failure

The Wisdom of Failure: Don’t Save it for Graduation Speeches

Teaching kids how to be resilient should be an everyday lesson

Post published by Tamar Chansky Ph.D on Jun 09, 2015 in Worry Wise

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As graduation season soon draws to a close and the caps and gowns are put into cold storage until next year, there’s something else that’s being packed away that our students could desperately benefit from all year long: our willingness to pull back the veil of success to reveal the often messy process that built it— the hitches, glitches, setbacks and outright failures.

Take a quick scan of education in America, and it appears that college graduation speeches are just about the only place it’s safe to talk about failure without it sounding terminal. In wonderful speeches by Oprah(link is external), J.K.Rowling(link is external), and many others— failure is destigmatized. The inevitability of detours or mis-steps are seen as a rite of passage or a badge of courage—an essential growth accelerator on the bumpy road to success rather than something whispered in hushed tones and hidden from public view.

So there’s a disconnect. Step outside of the stadiums and auditoriums where graduations occur to the typical classroom in a landscape dotted by our children’s single point values of SAT scores and GPAs, and failure—even of the very teeniest scale—like guessing at an answer or saying, “I’m sorry I don’t know”— well, this is just not a space young people are willing (or encouraged) to occupy these days. When they do stick their neck out and get something wrong, I’m pretty sure thunderbolts appear and a swat team swoops down —We have a mistake here in Room 212!— leaving kids to swallow their pride along with their erroneously chosen words, and ensuring that as a result of this most unfortunate moment, any college that might be interested in them in the future—whether they are in 5th grade or 12th, will no longer be, or so the chorus of anxious thoughts goes.

There are no bad guys here. I do believe that. But we need to do a re-think as our desire for our children to have a good future has been overtaken by anxiety and a belief that the only way to get there is that every single move they make needs to be right. This is a message that comes through loud and clear: they’ve absorbed it every day.

Throughout their lives, our children have been told that every decision, every grade every extracurricular activity, essentially has to build toward their success— in college and beyond.  Everything counts. The stress and anxiety are a given, settling in like big city smog. There are no mistakes. No good ones anyway. No room for error. Failure is out of the question, and yet so precipitously close. One false move on the tightrope walk through grade school, high school and college and you’re not bouncing back. You’re done.

Then suddenly graduation time comes and the message is—it’s okay to fail. And even fail big—Oprah big.

Since when? Students may ask, confused.

What do we do about this disconnect? If we want students to really understand this image makeover that failure is enjoying—we can’t just bring it out once a year with the pomp and circumstance—or after 12 or 16 years of hearing the polar opposite.  That’s kind of like cramming for a test—the test of life—at graduation, when they could have been studying this particular unit about failure, resiliency and risk taking for years before. Is that really what we want to be encouraging?

Our job is to not wait for graduation to talk about failure and success. It’s a little late then. Rather, we need to be rolling out the red carpet for our kids throughout their education. Making saying “I don’t know” or making mistakes safe. Making “I don’t know for sure” a noble and defendable position.

How do we teach our children about this?

Just like we wouldn’t plunk a dog phobic child down in the middle of a busy dog park, but we’d desensitize slowly starting with the nice puppy safely in the pet shop window, we need to dissect failure—this kind of artisanal failure and find our first step. When we rewind back, we find that the seed of all success or failure is stepping out into uncertainty, saying “I’m not totally sure,” or even simply—“I don’t know.” This is where all great things begin. So it is our tolerance of uncertainty that we need to increase. The possibility of failure is always there and as we are gaining information we will also make mistakes along the way.  Learning is not a one-off. It’s incremental.

One way to teach children the safety of mini-failures is to allow mistakes to enjoy a soft-landing. When kids get things wrong let’s not dismiss or embarrass, but appreciate the effort of going out on a limb. As one teacher in my daughter’s 8th grade class recently said when a student made a gaffe, "Hey—it’s every one’s job here to make this a safe place to learn." Amen.

Another is to turn the whole concept of failure on its head—and take the opportunity to point out not the fault when a mis-step occurs—but the exciting thing that’s about to happen—learning something brand new— and encouraging kids to revel in it!

And… if we are really putting our money where our mouths are about making tiny failures safe, my personal favorite (very nitty gritty) is to teach kids what to say in a moment of uncertainty. To have kids practice and cultivate a repertoire of their signature phrases such as “I’m not sure” or, “I don’t know.” Out loud. Really. Your child may never have uttered those words in a school setting. They can practice saying it many different ways getting more confident with each rehearsal: “You know, I don’t know,” or, “Well, I don’t actually know.”  “That’s one I don’t get.” “I’m not really sure,” or, “I have to admit—I’ve never heard of that—though it sounds like I should and will in a minute.”

We can teach kids to have uncertainty with swagger, with personality, or simply with noshame. Does it mean that you don’t know anything if you admit that you don’t know this one specific thing? No! That’s just the temporary sting of how it feels. But over time of practicing your “I don’t knows” assiduously even the sting goes away. The “I don’t know” becomes that freeing thing that we want failure to be.

Getting comfortable with failure starts with being willing to be wrong. To stand in the cold waters of not knowing and see that they warm up. Are we as adults willing to do that? We can really surprise and bolster kids by modeling what we don’t know:  “This sounds really interesting, but I don’t know what you’re talking about. Can you explain it to me, because… I don’t know.”

Children may look in awe and disbelief. As much as kids (especially teens) think theirparents don’t know anything a.k.a. everything—they are nevertheless shocked to hear that this might actually be the case.

So here we go, village, let’s make the conversation about adversity and failure part of every day use instead of just pulling it out for special occasions. We can start with the simple act of welcoming guesses, wrong answers, not knowing, and messing up by responding with the perspective that we want our children to have: this isn’t a big deal, just learn from it. I foresee a great “I don’t know” revolution. Can you imagine—kids everywhere asking questions and actually finding out information? Acquiring more information, not less standing, and clarifying, understanding, integrating and sharing what they know—and what they don’t know. In every classroom, uncertainty and curiosity being the invisible current that powers our lives.  I don’t know— maybe I’m wrong about this, but I’m sticking my neck out for it anyway.

©Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., 2015.  Author of Freeing Yourself from Anxiety: 4 Simple Steps to Overcome Worry and Create the Life You Want(link is external) and Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Revised and Updated Version:  Practical Strategies to Overcome Fears, Worries, and Phobias and Be Prepared for Life--from Toddlers to Teens(link is external)

Previously published on Huffington Post.

CONNECT WITH DR. CHANSKY ON FACEBOOK(link is external) AND TWITTER(link is external). IF YOU LIKE THIS ARTICLE, PLEASE SHARE IT!

Security is mostly a superstition!

Gopal Rao
Landmark Forum leader

Our preferences sometimes tend toward comfort, familiarity, safety—but in opting for those we often miss out, even to the point of giving up advancement, intimacy, adventure. We’ll have explanations as to why we hold back, telling ourselves it’s easier to avoid something than it is to deal with what can be imagined, created, or committed to. While those decisions might have the “appearance” of freedom, they limit what’s possible. When we get wrapped up in our circumstances, concerns, we can lose sight of what’s possible, settle for less, and essentially adapt to things as they are. Among the major themes to which literature repeatedly turns—love, loss, identity, ambition—none may be richer and more consuming than regret (regret about some lack of action or initiative, regret that we did or didn’t express something, regret that we didn’t live our lives fully).

When the possibility of power, effectiveness, and freedom arises, there’s a concern we might not be able to live up to the possibility. Lack of confidence and holding back go hand in hand. Creating a breakthrough, stepping out, taking new ground requires disrupting our old conversations. There is no right place to begin, but the pull is there to move what we see or imagine as possible into action. Real power occurs when we know we have something to say about the way things are—that we have a voice—that we have access to the state of affairs beyond just reporting on them.

When we invent ourselves by our saying—we begin an excursion into possibility. In Helen Keller’s words, “Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. 

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

The fork in the road can cut like a knife

What did you want to be when you grew up, and what happened to all those dreams you had as a kid or young adult? Some of us went to college, got a degree, found a job and hit the provable  “treadmill of life”.  I call some of these people “the living dead”.   If this is your life, trust me, you’re not alone.

Officebroker.com polled 500 employees, asking them specifically whether they regretted their choice of careers and, if so, how much they regretted it.

Here’s what the research showed:

·    77% of workers admitted to sometimes regretting their career decisions;

·    23% said they never felt any regrets about their career paths;

·    Boredom was the biggest reason respondents gave for regretting their choice of career  35%   percent said they felt bored at work and longed for a more exciting or worthwhile role;

·    Money was the next biggest factor in job regrets — 31% percent said they wished they had     chosen a more lucrative career path;

Some of us, admittedly, just deal with our choices. We have bills to pay.  Although some of us do not have those responsibilities, yet we remain part of the “Living Dead” and hate it. Why is that?

Do we just follow the crowd, or fearful of the unknown? How does one overcome fear and start something new? Perhaps doing something we are passionate about? Honestly, and I’ve always said this, had I known I’d be working in a 10x12 office every working day, I would have become a park ranger….I love the outdoors.

Evaluate your life, take some time this weekend and answer the following questions (before it’s too late!)

1.        Who are you?

2.       What are your passions, what do find fulfilling, what activities do you really enjoy?

3.       How much money do you really want to make, what kind of life to you want to live?

4.       My physical location.  Do you enjoy traffic and cement?

5.       At work, am I challenging myself in some way?

6.       How are my relationships? Who do I need to know? Meet? 

What would your mental life - evaluation look like? Is it time for a check-in of your own? What aspect of your life needs changing?

Five tips to boost your career

Nina Hendy wrote a very good blog on tips for your career in 2014.  My notes are in yellow. Enjoy and good luck! 

1. Decide what makes you happy-Decide WHAT makes you happy.  Where do you want to work? 
What kind of environment, company, location?  
Do you want to work in a 10x12 office or a cubicle the rest of your life?  
Think about that.  You are going to work for a long time, if you enjoy the outdoors, 
perhaps a corporate job isn't for you. 

It might sound simple, but there's no point chasing a career goal that won't actually make you happy.

Be the master of your destiny by first deciding who you actually would take delight in working for, suggests Deborah Blott, business manager of recruitment firm Mondo Search Group. Make a list of companies you would like to work for, then write down why you want to work for them and what you could contribute, she says.

“Many companies have hidden jobs and projects for driven, focused and passionate people, and these jobs are not necessarily advertised,” Blott says.

Look at your connections and who could introduce you to these companies, she adds. “Use social media to find out how you can connect in with people who can recommend you to these companies.”

2. Treat your career like a business- I couldn't agree more. Make a plan, plan your work! 

The only way to get ahead in your career is if you change the way you think about it. You're not in a job, you have a career, and you need to take responsibility for managing it yourself.

Professional career coach Fiona Craig says everyone should treat their career like a business.

Make sure you have a thorough understanding of your strengths and put in place a strategy on how you can use those strengths more often, she says.

“Create a career plan, a personal marketing plan and a networking plan for 2014, just as you would create a business and marketing plan for a business,” Craig says.

3. Build your personal brand - Branding is everything. It's not who you know, it is, who knows you?

To build your career, develop a clear personal brand including who you are, what you bring to a role, how you differ and so on, advocates Key Coaching's Karen Bremner.

So many employees plod along in their job, year after year, she says.

Instead, throw yourself into your work, put your hand up for new projects or better still, initiate them, she says.

Where your strengths meet an employer's needs, there's an opportunity, she says.

“Identify what you're really good at, in and out of work, and focus on how you can leverage those skills and strengths to benefit employers.”

“It's your career and it's up to you to drive it. Don't wait to be picked. Decide where you want to go and then actively seek out new opportunities to both grow your skills and demonstrate your value,” Bremner says.

4. Develop a LinkedIn strategy - You see everyone on LInkedIn, and you can get to them with an email. Be careful not to spam people you do not know. 

LinkedIn is becoming an increasingly powerful tool in recruitment, professional networking and job hunting, which is why you've got to take it seriously. Professional resume writer, Tanaz Byramji says employees need to update their LinkedIn profile at the start of each year. Once you've made sure your profile is as complete and accurate as possible, written succinctly in the first person and incorporating relevant key words associated with your area of expertise, you can start expanding your network, Melbourne-based Byramji says.

Send out personalised connections to people you've worked with over the past 12 months. Also, reach out to co-workers who may have already moved into other roles, she says.

Use LinkedIn to build your professional brand by curating industry-relevant information, posting articles, commenting on blog posts and joining relevant groups, she says.

It's also a good idea to request LinkedIn recommendations, and sometimes the easiest way to do that is to write a recommendation for someone else first, she says.

5. Always look for ways to learn -  Couldn't agree more! Life long learning. Do stop taking classes, learning new software programs, read more books. 

A great way to boost your career is to always look for new ways to learn, recommends Katrena Friel, founder of Activated Life Long Learners. People that learn throughout their career understand the importance of investing in their own knowledge and enjoy the process of learning something new, she says.

The mindset of people who feel they've already completed their schooling only update their skills when they have been retrenched, sacked or miss out on a promotion, she says.

“Some people also only go to training or coaching if their employer pays for it. They would never pay for their own development, thinking it's someone else's responsibility to look after their career.”

Shift your thinking so that you're open to being a lifelong learner, which means you're taking responsibility for your career and being curious about your true capability, she says.

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/small-business/managing/five-tips-to-boost-your-career-this-year-20131211-2z4ne.html#ixzz2r9AKop3S